And here is love?
The idea that they love dignity, and not just that, came from somewhere. As a result, love becomes a kind of order.
Galina Timoshenko, psychologist and TV presenter
What do you think, where did the idea come from that they love young beauties more than ladies in their age? Why is everyone so convinced that this goes without saying? From what does this so conclusively follow?
No, one can, of course, say that this is justified by biology: after all, it is young women who are potential continuers of the genus. When a woman enters adulthood, she is still ready to become a mother, but will she have enough time to raise her late-born children? And at some point, she completely loses her reproductive function ...
So be it. It is useless to argue with nature. But where does the love come from ?! In the best case, it is about which women are more likely to create a family with. And in the worst - about which women more often want. And what about love, I hesitate to ask?
If we are talking about creating a family, everything here is also very ambiguous. After all, a family can also be understood and imagined in different ways. You can, of course, decide that the family is such a thing that is specifically designed for the birth and upbringing of children. The question is whether such a family can be happy. If procreation is the only thing that is required from the family, then this cannot but leave the most serious imprint on the relationship between father and mother. Firstly, they themselves do not represent a separate great value for each other: their advantages and disadvantages are determined solely from the point of view of their usefulness, futility or harmfulness to future (or already existing) offspring. This means that the mass of their own desires must remain unsatisfied - simply because they are not related to raising children. I have no right to want this, because my strength, time and money will be spent on me myself and, therefore, will not be given to the children. But this is still okay! But I, in addition to everything else, also believe that you have no right to want anything for yourself - for the same reason! And father and mother, sincerely observing the interests of their own offspring, find themselves simultaneously in the position of both victims and executioners in relation to each other.
But it’s also important “secondly”: why did such dad and mom think that it would benefit the children? If from childhood they understand that dad and mom do not have any independent significance, and were born solely in order to ensure the benefit of their children, then what do you think they will grow up? And even if they somehow manage to escape the fate of the "navels of the world" in some mysterious way, what can parents give to them who are not interested and unimportant in their own lives?
And in all other cases - that is, when the birth and upbringing of children is not the only function of the family - the age of a woman does not become such a disastrously significant fact. Yes, of course, one can argue: even if all of the above is true, men have the right not to think about it and still choose women precisely by the criterion of their ability to bear children. I completely agree. They have such a right, of course. But why are you sure that you will lose so much if such men do not marry you? What is going to happen if a man doesn’t want to marry you, for whom a woman is ultimately an incubator and a nanny?
Of course, men have the right to choose women solely according to the criteria of youth and beauty. But do you really lose something if it is precisely such men who do not marry you ?!
We turn to the second explanation of the advantages of young girls: men more often want young women. Again I will not argue. Probably more often - with the exception of those who for some reason (perverts!) And in bed prefer mature women. Well, where does the love come from?
We women are mysterious creatures: first we make an unthinkable amount of effort to acquire (or increase) sexual attractiveness - and then we lament that they do not love us, but want us. Where is common sense ?! After all, sexual attractiveness by definition refers to the purely physiological mechanisms of perception, which are not too subject to conscious control. The poor man sees an irresistible female in front of him - and the famous phrase by A. Kolmogorov begins to act: “If P follows from Q and Q is nice, then P is true.” In other words, if she is so good, then she, of course, possesses all other advantages. After all, a man wants to respect himself. And how do you command me to do this, if we admit that he chooses a woman solely by the degree of her sexual attractiveness? So he begins to give beauty the whole list of possible improvements - they say, it was for them that she was loved.
Further - even funnier. Since somewhere in the human mind came the idea that they love for virtues, and not just like that, someone's love for me automatically starts to mean that I have some unearthly virtues. As a result, his love becomes for me something like an order, and the loss of this love, respectively, - the collapse of self-esteem. It was more convenient for me not to admit to myself that they simply wanted me, and all the other perfections were invented ...
Of course, I do not mean at all that only a woman as ugly and groomed is suitable for love. I’m talking about something else: what I emphasize in myself, most likely, in the first place, it will catch the eye of an interested observer. If I have a skirt that exposes my upper advantages and a skirt that emphasizes the lower advantages, it is these advantages that will most likely make a man prefer me to all other women. After all, if I emphasize all this, it means that this is what I want to make noticeable. Why should I make it noticeable? Of course, then, in order to get an adequate - that is, sexual - reaction of a man. That is, a man - consciously or unconsciously - decides what I ultimately need to be wanted. Nobody said anything about love ...
But when a woman knows for sure that she no longer fits into any social standards of beauty and is clearly not able to withstand competition in the market for sexual objects, she begins - finally! - look for what its own attractiveness consists of. And when she discovers this attractiveness of hers, she already emphasizes it. Note: it emphasizes not the degree of its compliance with the standards, but the degree of its difference from them. And only then can she be sure that if a man liked her, she liked her, and not her resemblance to a magazine picture and her readiness to continue procreation.
Of course, it remains for a man to like it ... But in this case, it is simply a question of how interesting the woman is in herself. And this, you see, depends only on her ...
PHOTO: FOTOBANK / GETTYIMAGES